Television Ranting

Grrrr. Arrrg.

Whilst I've left this blog to the wasteland for quite a while now, I did always use to gush a little about the TV series I happened to be watching. Two of the most promising of those were Stargate Universe and Caprica.

As of a few days ago, both of those have been canceled.

Now with Caprica, this was to be expected. A prequel to the award-winning Battlestar Galactica, the show had an awkward start. Eventually it began to establish itself as a story that was going to push the boundaries of television Sci-Fi. It took faith, the afterlife, dependence on technology, terrorism, and stuck them all into a boiling pot.

It was fucked.

Honestly, it's a great shame to see it canceled. Caprica was an intelligent show and it could have been a game changer. What's worse is the wonderful SyFy (vomit) channel decided not even to broadcast the rest of the series, replacing it with Star Trek: The Next Generation re-runs. Canada stepped in and saved the day, continuing with the series until its end, giving it a small measure of closure. I've seen it, and if you were watching Caprica and are wondering whether it's worth it, or even just really enjoyed Battlestar Galactica, I'd give it a shot. If anything, it'll be unlike anything else you've ever seen.

Anyway, that was a while ago. On Friday (I believe. Not sure about the time difference...) SyFy announced that they were also going to cancel Stargate Universe. Now, this was a troubled show that had just found its feet. The rest of its second series will be shown, but after that the Stargate franchise comes to an end. That's quite a big deal. The franchise has covered three films and seventeen(!!) TV series. That indeed, is a pretty good run.


But there are a few things that make me angry. Firstly, the announcement itself was done through twitter. Executives apparently decided it wasn't even worth the courtesy of giving the cast and crew advanced warning on this. Very classy.

Secondly, that's it for big budget Sci-Fi shows... on America's SCI-FI channel! (Sorry, SyFy) Coming up to replace these are an American remake of the British Being Human and another Battlestar prequel, basically showing Admiral Adama fighting in the first cylon war. Hmm. Of course we'll judge these when they actually come out, but it's a worrying practice. These two shows didn't do great in the ratings, but the problem is that if a show isn't an instant hit, the network seems to remove all support. Executives are looking for the next LOST or Heroes. Most of the best television shows of the past years needed time to nurture, get a roll going. The lesson now is to not get invested in any American show - it might not be around for long.

Ah well, we can hope that the Stargate franchise will be given a chance to wrap up its loose ends. Until then, everything is peachy this side of the pond. The Dirk Gently pilot was on BBC4 on Thursday, and is still on the iplayer. Go have a look now, it's rather brilliant. And come Christmas Day, we get Doctor Who! It's not all doom and gloom.

Tell you what though, they cancel that and I'll give up on television.

Woops.

So a few months ago I wrote a rather lengthy post on this blog detaling how I was going to be a very good boy and upload lots of little things in the future. I even outlined LOADS of them.

Hah.

I should have known that the minute I'd even thought about outlining my plans I would instantly then ignore them completely. This is not going to be a lengthy post - I'm sitting in a computer room on campus, bored out of my skull after planning around completely the wrong schedule and leaving one of my bags in a lecture theatre. Rain clouds are forming, preparing to piss it down precisely between five and seven this evening, just in order to catch me outside. I want to go back to bed dammit.

Instead this post is more of a little reminder to myself to get back on the horse as it were. I will come here and write some more blogs, and upload some stories and so on and so forth. And I myself will probably come back and read this myself, then sigh and watch some TV. So, David, if you're reading this, stop being an arse.

So basically, I'll be back. Soon. But for now It's cold and my phone isn't working and I've got a presentation to do and bills to pay and work to finish and other work to edit and books to read and oh there's all these shows I want to watch but I just don't have the time and it's so annoying it completely bypasses all use of punctuation.

On the other hand, I had a lecture about lesbian nuns today. So that was nice.

Some Babbling

Well there's quite a few things I need to put up on the blogosphere. Firstly, the review of the new Prince of Persia game, which should be up soon (like, later today unless I manage to distract myself) as the game isn't long enough to actually warrant a long review. Secondly, I've seen Inception. I want to write a review about it, but I think I actually need to see it again before I can. If that sounds like a shameless excuse, it probably is.

Thirdly, I went to Comic-Con last weekend, and that's worth writing about, if only to geek out massively. It was the London Comic-Con by the way, not the big massive proper one in San Diego that is happening RIGHT NOW WITHOUT ME.

Fourthly is a big old thing I was going to write about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It all started back on Towel day, watching the film version to commemorate the late Douglas Adam's birthday. The film is not actually as bad as I remember it and spurred on an attempt to sample all the versions of Hitchhiker's that I hadn't had a go at... This meant ordering the radio series, which is a very good idea and you should all go and do it. Now.
So yes, maybe I need to do something on that, maybe something that will involve me having to ask quite a few people their opinions - one thing that I quickly realised is that there are a lot of Hitchhiker's fans, many whom I'd met at university and not actually realised were Hitchhiker's fans. Ho-hum.

Fifthly (Oh that's a horrible word. You should never let yourself get to Fifthly) , various little stories. One I was writing specifically for the blog and that has ground to a halt right at the bloody end. Nice little sci-fi story that was chugging along at a lovely speed, then suddenly seemed to hit a brick wall. I'll go back to it in a bit. It happens. Other than that, I found a huge amount of old work, a lot of stuff that I thought had been sent to technology hell, including the first story I ever wrote. At the time I'd been damn proud of it, looking back now I see the huge muddle of mistakes and problems. It's both sad and nice, sad in that I wrote like that once, nice in that at least I've improved a bit. One of these stories seemed actually salvageable, so I jazzed it up and sent it to my lovely editor Jenny, henceforth known as the grammar God.

Editing is weird - for one it make's you feel like a complete fool in lots of little intervals, mainly because I'm rubbish at editing my own work and let buttloads of mistakes slip through. There will probably be one in this blog, which Jenny will probably notice and give me an internet slapping for. But really, I don't mind it anymore. It's nice to have another perspective on writing, especially one that's coming from the outside. If you're reading this Jen, cheers for pulling me out of my little worlds and reminding me that I at least have to obey the rule of this one.

Lastly was a little story I was writing up for the blog, the difference being this one's real. The problem here is how much I actually put in, because frankly writing about other people, even if I'm involved, is dodgy business on the internet. It's a fun little anecdote, nothing bad, but you can't be too careful. Maybe I'll have to go and change it a bit, edit the names and so on. That reminds me, I've already mentioned Jenny in this post, maybe she would take issue at that - in which case I'd just have to only mention her as THE EDITOR, which frankly sounds far more dramatic, so bugger that. Of course, me having to change parts of my real stories brings into question whether you can trust anything I actually put up here, my answer to which is this: I'm a writer of fiction. It's my job to lie to you consistently and effectively. It's probably best not to look too deeply into it.

Can Predators wash away the bad taste of the AvP films?

In short to the above question, yes. It doesn't just wash away the taste, it rips out their spine and puts on a nice pedestal in the cabinet.

Yes, the outer-space fox hunters are back. The Predator itself has always been a brilliant concept. An alien that hunts humans for sport, with wrist blades, spears, nets... and a cloaking device and auto-aiming shoulder laser. Yeah actually, that bit has always seemed a bit unsporting.

Predators is of course the sequel to the brilliant 1987 horror/action flick. Unlike the previous two films, the predators this time do not come to Earth. Instead, a hapless group of humans find themselves parachuting down into a dense jungle, one that it becomes quickly apparent does not exist on our world. They are themselves soldiers, criminals, killers, predators. They are the best of humanity at hunting, and the aliens want to chop them into itty bitty pieces.



So as you can see, the set up itself is simple, much like the original film. In the end, this is Predators greatest strength: It doesn't over complicate things, and it doesn't take long for events to kick into action. From there, it gleefully throws its cast into worse and worse situation. Any attempt for a character to do something a usual stupid-horror-movie-characterTM would do is greeted with the characters immediately dismissing it as stupid. You never feel that the characters are doing anything less than their very best in surviving. The fact that they aren't just proves how utterly screwed they are.

Neither does the film muck about with ambiguity of its villains. It's called Predators, we know their identity. Like Aliens this film completely inverts the "less is more" horror approach of its predecessor and quickly shifts into action. Lots of brutal, gory action, something this film does very, very well. The various skirmishes with the predators are brilliantly shot, making for a fast and tense film. The lack of CGI for the most part also helps - this film makes a good case for why you shouldn't always rely on special effects, as the drawn out fight becomes pretty damn believable.

The cast themselves fit their roles perfectly, despite the out of type casting of Adrien Brody and Topher Grace. Like the film itself, Brody's character, Royce, is an inversion on the original film, playing a direct opposite to Arnie's character. Royce is wiry compared to Arnie's massive body-builder, and doesn't really give a crap about protecting anyone. He simply wants to survive, and he's rather good at it. Lawrence Fishburne deserves a hell of a lot of praise for his performance as Nolan too. It's a complete curve-ball of an act, and you won't see it coming.

If the film has any flaws, its that the ending becomes a bit predictable in the final stretch. Also, the trailers that have been released are being very naughty. Anyone who's seen the characters covered in laser targeted spots and is expecting a gigantic Predator battle-royal is going to be extremely disappointed.

All in all, Predators isn't trying to be a genre-busting film. It wears its B-movie status with pride. But it is incredibly polished, and very enjoyable, especially for fans of the franchise. A franchise that after the dire past few years, is now taking a definite step in the right direction.

Oceanfest, sunburn and these damn kids...

So, I'm back in the land of the internet. I've spent basically a week completely off the radar, which had been nice to be honest. I've come back to find the nation on the brink of mass heart attacks over the fate of the world cup, a stroke-inducing cliffhanger for Doctor Who (though I get like this every year. I'm a tad excitable.) and the frankly amusing news that Apple might have botched the iphone 4 up. While evidently its not as bad as some anti-Apple enthusiasts would have you believe, releasing a mobile phone that can lose signal when held is tantamount to selling a kettle you can't open. Or a toilet you can't sit on, which yes I know exist, but come on people. It's the 21st century, we no longer have to squat.

But anyway, back to being off the radar. I was at the Golden Coast Oceanfest in Croyde. Basically its down in Devon, so instead of being in the middle of nowhere you're pretty much on the edge of it. This did have its drawbacks: After spending hours driving down to the edge of the country, its not that fun having to then search around for nonexistent supermarkets. Maybe I've just become completely soft by having a Tescos three minutes down the road but after two hours of riding around, fiddling with phones and calling for help I was developing a rather attractive twitch. We eventually saw a Lidl and stocked up there. You always know its good when you can get cartons of quality "Apple Drink" for about 20p.

It was all worth it though, as once we got settled in the clouds buggered off and the sun came out - for the entire time we were there. I can't think of any holiday I've ever been on where the weather has been this perfect. This meant naturally I managed to burn myself a bit, in a strange pattern, as if I were a homosexual leopard. Not as badly as my friend though, who had to be ritually applied with aftersun for the entire time. Of course its still pretty damn hot here at home, except with no coastal breeze to cool me down. I have responded by moaning like an old man and hiding in the shade, lest I explode into flames. But honestly, I can't recommend Croyde enough. It's quiet, peaceful and the coast is beautiful. Also helped out by the fantastic company of friends, old and new. I'm going to avoid putting up pictures for three reasons:

1) The slightly dodgy rules of having pictures of other people on your blog,
B) The fact I look like a nonce in most of the ones I've found,
iii) The deadly consequences of me uploading anything with bikini in it.

The festival itself was also fantastic. No big names, but lots of really good acoustic acts. To search down are: Joe Brooks, Jim Jones and The Quails for sure. Also The Magic Numbers, but I'm sure you've all probably heard of them. There was a really good laid back atmosphere to the whole affair, you could go down to the beach and still listen to the music happening on stage, whilst you swam, sunbathed (to my peril) or watched the beach sport tournaments, which we did not take part in. Maybe next time Croyde will be wowed by my amazing volleyball skills.

The only strange thing about it was the massive age range there. Its obviously a very popular local festival as well as dragging in tourists, and the fact that its kid friendly definitely helps. This would be a better solution for parents wanting to attend festivals, far better than what I saw at Reading last year: Two children walking around in fluorescent jackets painted with their parents phone numbers and the slogan "THEIR DAD WILL BUY YOU A PINT." The thing is, I was the youngest person in the group at this festival, but when we got near the stage at certain points and were surrounded by excitable kids, probably at their first proper festival/gig... well God, we felt old. Very, very old. Adulthood is just round the corner, I can feel it coming. It aches.

But anyway, now I'm back and life shows no signs of slowing down, coming up is the university reunion in Cardiff (YAY!) for Rory's birthday (double YAY!) and the last minute decision to go to London Comic con again. Yes there are some truly strange people there, but there's also some really cool ones. Cool by my standards people, its a subjective word. I must force myself under a budget this time, or I'll return with stacks of comic books. Ho hum.

Gonna be popping up a story on here once its finished, maybe later today. And then I will simply leave you with the news Justin Beiber is going on tour and his management has put up a page allowing for people to vote what countries he is to visit. Number one on this list is Israel, and catching up fast in number two is North Korea.

Its times like this I'm oh so proud to be part of the internet generation.

Confounding Technology!

Well it finally happened. I have joined the legion of others smote down by the dreaded red ring of death. I returned home to be given the news by my friend, the shock of its sudden death only made worse by the fact I wasn't there to see it go.

How delightfully appropriate.

Of course actually it wasn't particularly surprising. The RROD has reached to such infamy that its simply part of the risk of buying an Xbox, along with the need for batteries and an ability to block out loud fan noises. This is in no way meant as a backslap against Microsoft and the Xbox: There's a reason I bought an Xbox, and will try and fix or replace it, and that's not to do with this blog post.

The fact is, it wasn't surprising because technology just dies, and it seems to do it a hell of a lot more now than it used to. Of all the people I know with game consoles, over half have had problems with them. Most of this is tied to the PS3 and the Xbox, which means Nintendo either make more reliant hardware or less people have them... or at least they are used less. Actually no bugger it, I've never had any problem with Nintendo hardware. The old Game Boys were so hardy the military should have looked into finding a use for them.

But it isn't just game consoles. Mobiles, laptops, everything now comes with a warranty that almost guarantees at some point it will die and become unusable. Admittedly, some items are more in a danger zone then others. Yes, it is unsurprising that your mobile no longer works after being dropped into a double vodka and coke, bad luck. But other than the obvious, I've just become use to the extremely vulnerable mortality of anything that eats up electricity and does cool stuff, it's just the way it is.



The thing is, should it be like this? We all expect it of our gadgets and gizmos and I can't remember the last time anyone actually showed genuine annoyance at their electronics breaking. But older items, like watched, ancient clocks - they go forever. Now it could be argued that a watch has to do a little bit less then the full multimedia computing power required for your average laptop, but the point stands: Why do we put up with technology that breaks without any outside help, usually subconsciously just outside the time the warranty ends?

Of course this has the worrying problem that to tackle this we would all have to turn into the shop crazy. You know the sort: Those people yelling at the poor clueless teenager behind the counter, demanding to see the manager. Avert thou eyes, roll them skyward and move to another part of the shop to avoid the embarrassing event. I don't think I could quite reach that point at any rate, conflict is bad enough, loud and very public conflict more so.

Then again, it could just be me. I am beginning to suspect I simply emit an EMP like aura that eventually destroys all shiny things in my presence. Not all of it has succumbed yet, otherwise there would be no blog post, and I'm going to touch major wood that my remaining lovely gadgets remain working. No, not that kind of wood. Pervert.

Until then, I need to see if Microsoft will take my Xbox to their console hospital and fix him up lovely. And if not, I have been fortunate enough to meet the wonderful breed that is computer scientist at this University. I'll give it to them, and then I'll have a games console that lights up all funny, works on voice recognition and makes tea. Always a silver lining eh?

How and how not to end your mysterious TV series

A TV series finale is a hard job to pull off in any circumstance. You've got to wrap up all the characters and give resolution to the plot, which is certainly made trickier when you've built up said TV series on mysterious clues and unanswered questions. Sure, the show's the talk of the water cooler every week, but now push has come to shove and the audience wants it all to come together. Make the years of wondering and clueless (sometimes bizarre) speculation worth it.

Recently, two such TV series came to an end. One was Ashes to Ashes the sequel (Come on, it was more than a spin-off) to the widely popular Life on Mars. The other was Lost. You may have heard of it.

By the way, SPOILER ALERT. Obviously. If you watch these shows and haven't seen the end yet, don't read more. If you're thinking about watching these shows don't spoil yourself, as they're honestly very worth watching.



Life on Mars was never big on answers. Two series, and we got an ending that was very centered around Sam Tyler. He was in a coma, got out of it and then made the decision to return to the 70's, in the process probably putting him in a far, far shorter more pancake-shaped coma. Other than that, very few answers are given. Even if he was in a coma, did he time-travel? Was it the real 70's, or a world based upon it?

You'd look this sad if you'd been in and out of comas as much as this fella.

Move on to the 80's and its poor old Alex Drake's turn to have a near death experience. In a daring attempt to out-do poor Mr. Tyler, she gets shot in the head... On the way to her daughters birthday party. Alex joins Gene's team in the same way as Sam does, and for the most part Ashes to Ashes followed the same route as its predecessor: Drop hints, give clues, but stick largely to a "crime of the week" format. However, considering what has already been learned, Alex has always been a more playful character in terms of dealing with the world - after all, she knows someone has been here before, and managed to get out. She happily walks into the office proclaiming the non-existence of the people around her ("Good morning constructs!") and states how she's going to be able to leave soon. The big-kicker then, is that by this final series it doesn't matter if they are real or not: Alex cares about them, and so do we. And the final series brings this sharply into focus by finally explaining the nature of the world we've been watching.

The third series has been a bit of a shake-up all over the place really. Firstly, the introduction of the brilliant Daniel Mays as Jim Keats. Considering he only had eight episodes to develop such a mysterious character, Mays does a fantastic job. Throughout the series he transforms a sympathetic charade into the most utterly evil performance I can remember on television in a long time; it's honestly chilling, as someone without any make-up or special effects totally gives the impression of something distinctly not human. Other than that, the series gave way a bit on its standalone episode structure, giving a bit more each week on Alex's growing obsession with what happened to Sam Tyler. On top of that, more to clues to what the world the characters inhabited actually was were given, and from the second episode it becomes clear the "side" characters of Chris, Shaz and Ray were in fact not that at all. All in all, in working up to the end the writers redefined the series, set out even more questions, and then answered them all, giving a fitting end to the characters and settling a story that's gone on for five years.



Now then. Lost. Some of you may be aware that this series (Sorry, season) has been Lost's FINAL series. It's being screamed at you from everywhere - trailers adorn my television screaming: "LOST!!! THE FINAL SEASON! LOST!! THE FINALE EVENT!" Sadly, it seems Lost has failed to live to its own hype. The series began with another twist: An alternate reality, in which Oceanic flight 815 never crashed, and the Losties never got a chance to improve their tans and meet polar bears. In fact in this reality, the island apparently got blown to hell and went Atlantis style. Now this is fine - we've had flashbacks, flashforwards and time travel on Lost, the idea of an alternate reality is a doddle. So as the series progress we're given details of continuing life in the "real" world, then this new "sideways" reality. Along the way it becomes clear that this was created as a result of the hydrogen bomb going off at the end of series 5, although its unclear about how the two realities may converge. Clues are dropped and theories aired, the finale comes... and it turns out to be complete baloney. It's actually purgatory, or something. Maybe. Now that would be fine, but not when you spend an entire series giving hints completely to the contrary, resulting it now only this resolution not making sense, but leaving us all with the fact that we've been taken for a complete ride. It's sloppy, sloppy writing. It's like leaving a breadcrumb trail for someone, then beating them to death with a croissant before they reach the end. Well its not, but it makes about as much sodding sense.



Now that's not to say there wasn't some very good moments in the finale - Some great character moments in there, particularly Sawyer and Julliet finding each other in the purgatory world, and seeing Charlie again is always good. Everyone reuniting in death to pass on is a lovely thought, but it shouldn't have had half a series squandered on it. Worse, the fact that the writers did the aforementioned red herring maneuver meant that the actual plot of this series, made very, very little sense. So Desmond flashed between realities, and this somehow made him realise what he had to do in the heart of the island, with no explanation. And he was bought to the island by Jacob... to what? Destroy the island, even though this is what the man in black eventually seemed to want? The events of the entire series have been orchestrated by a man whose methods make no damn sense - if the man in black wanted off the island, why did he help defend it against Widmore back in series 4, when he could have let lots of heavily armed marines trot onto his turf and kill all these pesky candidates for him? The series lapsed too much into metaphor, and as good as a metaphor is, it can't just be thrown in to cover the fact that the writers couldn't figure out solutions to their own mysteries - Lost actually outplayed itself. Impressive, at any rate.

Now some people would say that this doesn't matter, that Lost is about its characters. That's fine and all, but give them a send-off that makes sense. Ashes to Ashes managed this rather handily - A quickie crime of the week resolved straight away to let the bombs drop. Every revelation here was tied deeply to the characters, helped along by the fact the actors were bloody fantastic. The sequence where the coppers find out they are indeed dead, watching videos of their meaningless demise was completely heartbreaking. And then it boils down to whether you trust your leader, a metaphor that works beautifully in a quick last action sequence. Over on the island, someone took a rock out of a pond... and put a rock into a pond.



Both shows here have been doing a lot in common. Both an ambiguous villain for instance: Jim Keats in Ashes to Ashes and the man in black in Lost. Or more accurately, the man in black, impersonating John Locke. Or Flocke. Or just Smokey, whatever, because it turns out he's him as well. There are two reasons that one worked and the other didn't - At the end of the day, Gene Hunt wasn't going to be the bad guy. By midway through the series at any rate, the general foreboding tone that Mays so well bought about as Keats was hint enough. Smokey however, spent most of his series flip-flopping around and being deceptive, except the audience didn't have enough information to realise it was actual deception, and as such Smokey sounded logical for quite a lot of the time. Plus, he's fighting against Jacob, who's plans make about as much sense as a box of coked up frogs. It's fair to say it's hard to realise where you stand. The other problem is in execution. When Keats reveals his true colours, it's in a terrifying physical performance. In seventeen episodes, it took up until just before Lost's penultimate episode to reveal Smokey was in fact, definitely bad. And even then, his plan got changed and mucked around with so much it was hard to see him as threatening. Even worse was the sudden cheap way of making him kill-able again, presumably taking away all his powers... therefore not making it a problem if he got off the island in the fist place. All just so Kate could get in an action movie style pun at his expense. Fake Locke will not be going down on any "most memorable villains" list. The whole shebang was over complicated, and it killed it dead.

What it boiled down to in the end was whether or not you actually gave a damn. In Ashes to Ashes you have the revelation of a coppers purgatory, a place where people who have lost their lives protecting others for little thanks go. It didn't take any prisoners: Alex did not get a happy ending, and provided a brilliant performance on the pain of leaving somebody behind when you don't have a choice. And then there's Gene, able to fight the devil-like Keats and remain to help more people move through. It's beautiful, and perfectly paced. On Lost we learn that... if you get stranded on a crazy island with people for a long time then you care about them a lot. Or something. Or that its a bad idea to mess with glowing special light. Hmm.



So it isn't already obvious, the Gene Genie wins. I've been pretty damn harsh on Lost in this article, and I'll admit freely I'm exaggerating the faults of the finale. There were good bits. It was... ok. But a show with this pedigree shouldn't settle for ok. It definitely shouldn't settle for the lazy cop-out writing that we were served up in the end. And Ashes to Ashes, a show that I honestly thought was going to completely cop out in the end, actually served up one of the most moving hours of television in recent history. It's a table turner, and I didn't predict it. But TV writers, learn from this. Keep in mind that you're one day going to have to explain the complex mysteries you enjoy setting down. Don't treat your audience like fools, especially an audience thats been following you for six years.

Of course, all of this could just be because I'm bitter Kate didn't die, even though she got shot. Close, so close.

A quick politics rant

First off, take a look at this:



That's bloody stunning, and a little bit scary when you look at enough pictures of it. It's also quite amusing how the entire country has come to complete standstill panic about it - anything that goes wrong today can and will be blamed on the big ash cloud of doom. My money for the blame is on the aliens, and its about bloody time they turned up.

And speaking of portents of doom, today is a historical day for Britain. For the first time, the leaders of the political parties will take part in a live-TV debate, in order to sway voters for the election. There has been a LOT of ho-hah over this, mainly beause its so... American. This is undeniable, its an American thing. We're being given three blokes on a pedestal to choose for leader of our country. The problem here is that we're not meant to be choosing a bloke. We're meant to be choosing a party, a cabinet, a government. At least, thats what we're supposed to be doing. The fact of the matter is the role of Prime Minister has been becoming increasingly Presidential since the Thatcher years, and we might as well roll along with it.

Don't worry, I'll keep this brief. I'm sure everyone has had enough of these three in the past few weeks anyway.



So is a live-TV debate a good idea? Well, yeah it is. The entire way in which we look at these three men is probably going to change quite a bit after this, and some are predicting that the election will be won on their performances. Brown has to make sure not to loose his temper and make a fool of himself, Cameron has to not seem like a smug posh git, and Clegg... well actually it can't really go badly for Clegg either way. He stands to win most out of this debate, if only because attention for the Liberal Democrats can only go up, and frankly he's not going to win the election anyway. Sorry Cleggy.

The sad thing is that while I and many others will be watching, this isn't going to change the general apathy across the country for this election. There is no golden choice here, its a dire situation of choose your own preference of less-evil. Democracy in action eh?

So at the end of the day, for Britain in 2010 we have these three outcomes:

- We get Cameron, and we don't like him.
- We keep Brown, and we still don't like him.
- We get Clegg, and the ash cloud comes back with the aliens and enslaves us all.

I'd like to be proved wrong, (and in the case of Clegg, right. Just so I can say I told you so.) but this is pretty much the status quo for British politics at the moment. Maybe I'm still pissed off about the expenses and the digital economy bill and all the other shining examples of duty our elected have shown to their voters, but I don't see a government that does what its supposed to coming round the corner.

Turning it up to Eleven...

Ahaahaha. See what I did there? If a pun is good enough for Steven Moffat, it's good enough for me.



You've gotta feel a bit sorry for Matt Smith. On Saturday night, the eyes of the nation literally shifted on to him, as Doctor Who came rushing back to our screens with "The Eleventh Hour". Any actor taking on the role of the Doctor has got to be a bit nervous, what with its devoted fan base. Any actor taking the role in the new series should be even more nervous, it being the most popular drama on British TV.

And if that isn't enough, poor old (young) Matt Smith has to follow David Tennant. Possibly the most popular Doctor in the shows history. Say what you want about Tom Baker, I'm pretty sure he didn't have hordes of squealing fangirls, though I'm sure he would have loved it. So, does Smith pull it off? Is he the Doctor?



Well, yeah. He performs magnificently. Playing up the regeneration to allow little shots of both Eccleston and Tennant to shine through as he goes, he managed to assert a whole new personality in the episode. A more aloof Doctor, a little bit excitable, but not as hyperactive as his previous incarnation. Smith's most impressive ability really, is that he really seems like he is over 900 years old, despite being the youngest actor ever to play the part. It's in his voice and his mannerisms, but he's alien and it really works.

Kudos to Steven Moffat here as well, as he knows the main focus of this episode had to be on the new blood, and he truly gives them a chance to shine. The writing for both Amy and the Doctor crackles, with some truly funny lines. Karen Gillian looks set to be a companion to remember, as she makes her introduction proper by knocking the Doctor out with a cricket bat. She's also truly charismatic and feisty, with a Scottish accent to die for. She more than makes a match for the Doctor straight off the bat. (Hah! I'm on a roll.) The chemistry between the two is unbelievable, and in a move thats sure to annoy a vocal amount of fans, by the end they are really flirting.



Sadly, as the episode itself concentrates on their relationship, the plot itself is a bit weak. The actual circumstances of how the Doctor and Amy meet are great (12 years!!) and of course completely appropriate from the writer that bought us "Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey." Prisoner Zero and the Atraxi however, were a bit weak. Olivia Colman was fantastically creepy in her turn as the monster at the end, but by that point it was a case of too little too late. It's also a bit hard to believe that the entirety of Earth was sitting on their hands while this was going on, leaving it to be solved by a few people on a web conference. Lead by Patrick Moore. Two other niggles; the Atraxi looked a wee bit naff. The idea of gigantic space-eyeballs is brilliant, it just wasn't very well executed. Also, the new theme tune. It doesn't seem like much of an improvement of the previous one, it frankly seems more like a slightly poor remix done by a music student. New intro effects are lovely though.



At the end of the day, these niggles aside, the episode did exactly what it had to do - proved the new guys had the chops, and it did that brilliantly. By the point that Smith walks through the hologram of his previous selves and makes a battle-fleet leg it by simply introducing himself and saying "Run", its safe to say the Doctor is back. The passion that has made the show so successful for the past five years is clearly still there, it pours out from it. Bring on the rest of the series.



Also, come on, Look at that! New TARDIS! New screwdriver, new companion, new Doctor, nearly a new show. But only nearly...

Go and see Kick-Ass already!

"Okay you cunts... Let's see what you can do now!"



With this phrase, one of the most memorable film characters in recent years bursts onto the screen. More accurately, she pirouettes, rolls, flips and dismembers her way through a gang of drug dealers. To the Banana Splits.

Kick-Ass is not your average super-hero flick. It's the most genre-savvy film since Galaxy Quest, its got the sharpest script you could hope for, both funny and in places quite touching. It's the funnest film I've seen in ages, and its going to make the average Daily Mail reader's head explode all over the wall.

The film stars Aaron Johnson as lovable nerd Dave Lizewiski, who after being on the wrong end of petty crime for too long wonders why no-one has ever tried to be superhero. Ordering a brightly coloured diving suit online, he dons it and sets out to make a difference, and is promptly stabbed.



Not giving up, he carries on and becomes an internet sensation. There's a brilliant comment on general Western Culture here: The masses are unwilling to do anything about the dire state of affairs, but if when something does get done by God we will watch it. It's like the video of the happy slappers who don't realise their target is a professional kick-boxer. Eventually, the vigilantes do start to make a difference; Dozens more "Superheros" start to take up the mantle, inspired by the characters. The plot is a bit unlikely and scoots along on quite a lot of luck but at the end of the day when the experience is so fun you've got to give in to it.

Matthew Vaughn directs brilliantly - in particular the use of bright primary colours throughout the film give it a tone of ink, it purposefully goes towards an almost cartoony look, as opposed to the recent surge of Superhero films that try to make their characters as realistic as possible. This is exemplified by the large amount of blood, make no mistake: This is a gory film. It's clever about it though, never gratuitous without having a good reason to be, usually for the purpose of ridiculous exaggeration and comedy.

It's also filled to be brim with nerd references. In explaining his reasons for becoming a hero, Dave crosses off all the stereotypical superhero origin stories. One of the defining quotes of the film is the so-cringe-worthy-its-good "With no power comes no responsibility". And Nic Cage's Big Daddy isn't just a nod to Batman in his costume - whenever he's in costume in public he does a pitch-perfect Adam West impression.



Whilst Cage is fantastic in his best role in... a very, very long time, It's Chloë Moretz as Hit-Girl who steals the show. The foul-mouthed, violent and deadly child manages to be frighteningly psychopathic and amazingly cool, while at the same time Moretz brings across the terrible sadness at the loss of innocence in such a young girl. It's an amazing performance. Mark Strong also deserves a mention for his brilliant villain Frank D'Amico, although at this point congratulating Mark Strong for playing magnificent bastard villains perfectly seems pointless. I'm almost sure Mark Strong is actually a mob leader / supervillain, and he just does this in his spare time for kicks.

Johnson provides a very good lead, even if he is overshadowed by the pure awesomeness of his co-stars characters. Christopher Mintz-Plasse manages to do a damn good job as Red Mist, just about escaping from his "McLovin" tag. Considering the cliff-hanger at the end of the film, It will be interesting to see how he handles the sequel...

So, as you may have guessed from the title of this post, I liked the film. It's just... good! It's fun. It's controversial. It's a definitely a contender for best film of 2010. It's basically unmissable. I'll have the sequel now please.

So, I'm back.

And thus continues my usual pattern of blogging - I'll write loads for a few weeks, then stop and completely forget about it. My bad, admittedly. I have been quite busy, doing lots of writing and actual academic work in the run up to my exams. Well actually, my exam. I only have one, and then my first year of University is over, which is quite daunting. The other scary thing is its a month today, and I'm not at all prepared. I should probably do something about that actually. On the other hand, I'm going to have a ridiculous amount of time free. God knows what I'll actually do with it!



Ah yes, probably a good amount of that.

Truth be told, I'm extremely lucky to have such a good friends, both at University and back on the home front. Further truths being told, they're all stopping me from getting lots of busywork done. You know who you are, you lovely bastards.

In terms of coursework, my main creative piece is done. Or at least I keep finishing it to a point and saying its done, then going back to it. I think I might have to lock the bugger away so I'll just stop tinkering. I wonder if I'll ever stop doing that actually - do all writers reach a point when they know something is done as it will ever be, or does everyone look back and wonder? Maybe I'll have an answer for that someday, at the moment I'm far too busy fiddling with this one sentence. Bad sentence, driving me nuts. Bah.

Other things keeping me busy... well we've reached the point of the year when, for lack of a better term, all the cool shit comes out. Saw Kick Ass last week, which was fantastic, Iron Man 2 is on the way... and on the TV side LOST continues to chug along and mess with my mind. A group of us watch it together, and at the end we just look confused and pained. It's like a mild torture addiction. Ashes to Ashes is back, and so is SGU, though I haven't managed to watch that yet. I'm optimistic about this one, as I muddled through the first part of the series and all its highs and lows. Oh yeah, and Doctor Who is back, but that's too awesome a tangent to contain in one blog post. Stuff on that coming shortly.

So, I'm back, and this time I'll try to hang around for longer. Don't hold me to it though.